On my way into work today a co-worker said how sorry they were to hear about Janet's husband Steve. Janet is the secretary I work with each day, we sit across from each other and share the duties associated with being secretaries in the School of Nursing. Her husband passed away Saturday and it came as such a shock. I immediately felt terrible that as I went about my weekend she and her teenage daughter were going through this.
I don't read the paper until Monday morning when I get to work or I would have seen his obituary yesterday and I would have called her to offer my condolences. I can't stop thinking about her and her daughter and feeling so sad for them. I never know quite what to say other than I'm sorry and I'm here if you need anything or want to talk and that's just what I said to her this morning on the phone when I called her. I hope that's enough and appropriate and that I find more words to say tomorrow when I see Janet & her daughter at the funeral tomorrow.
I am a very emotional, empathetic and sympathetic person and can't help but cry in these situations and I hope I am not a blubbering mess at the funeral and keep it together. I can't help but put myself in the shoes of the wife and the daughter though, thinking of how hard it must be to lose your husband, your father and all the things you have to take care of, then all of the little things that will come up from time to time that will be hard for them. I hope they keep all of their wonderful memories of Steve in mind and that those memories live on with them, helping them through this difficult time and the difficult times that will come up over time as they have their first holidays without him, as the daughter graduates from high school next summer and starts college the following fall. I know even from losing grandparents that those times are hard enough and I can't imagine how it is losing your husband of about 20 years or your father.